Seth in my thoughts

I've been thinking of Seth today a lot. There's a lot going on in my head, some tough decisions to make about our Ben, and so why that triggers me to think of Seth I'm not entirely sure but it does. He was on my mind because of that already and all morning thoughts of him and the whole family were flitting through my head as I got on with the days activities and appointments. I saw the pristine snow reflecting the sun like little diamonds and thought of Seth. I saw the ice clinging to the rocks by the side of the road and thought of Seth. It was just a case of Seth on the brain.

After I got home with the kids from Ben's appt. a friend of mine, Alan, called. He told me that he was stranded down in the next town over with no ride home (and a broken ankle) and would I mind coming to get him. I told him of course not and threw the kids back in the car and was off to get him. I picked him up and drove him home, he lives just a few houses down from ours, and we stopped and talked a bit. His wife passed away last May. He's raising their three boys on his own now, doing the best he can and getting by day by day. He told me that in December when they were putting up the tree his youngest, Ryan who is 5 y/o, found the angel for the top of the tree that his wife had bought and loved so much, a beautiful angel with a porcelain face painted on by hand. He said that Ryan looked at the angel and said "Look! It's Mummy! Mummy's our angel!" (they're British). Ryan told Alan he wanted to wanted to hug and kiss "Mummy" so Alan handed over the angel to Ryan and he hugged it and gave it little kisses on the cool porcelain cheeks and kept saying "I love you Mummy" over and over. Alan was in tears at this point and I held his hand and patted his back and cried with him. It was so heartbreaking. Alan just said "I miss her so much. I just miss her and it hurts." and we talked and cried and talked some more.

That got me thinking of Seth too. How you can miss someone every second of every day and it just hurts. Not just a pain in your heart but a physical pain too. So I drove down the street thinking of Seth and how much his family misses him every single day... so much so that it hurts... and I cried some more.

I'm thinking of you all and holding you up in prayer every day.

~ Patti D.